Beautiful day, and I'm hunkering down to prepare for filing taxes. I keep good records, so mainly I'm just adding them up. Still, it's an involved process, since I have a few different simultaneous enterprises.
When I look back on my expenses and income over the year, it's never just numbers for me, but what my allocation of energy for that period FEELS like. Money is emotional.
The summed figures represent my choices, how I spent time, how much wealth I can or want to accrue, the way I do that, how much I (can) have, how much I give away. So, the figures represent not only my choices, but my values.
I feel pleased, inadequate, frustrated, optimistic, bored. Loop through that a few times. Worry. Assess. Look at it all again. What do I add up to?
Then when I meet with the guy who does my taxes, all that is forgiven and transformed. Everything is condensed down. He's just looking at my numbers, in a friendly, expert, and supportive way. It's math, with a dose of looking forward to next year and a chance to reset it all. A ritual well worth it not only in terms of saved labor but also in the release from all my internal permutations.
Kind of like a psychic reading.
copyright © 2014 Lisa Bernstein